Fear
by littlemissgoth
Summary: There was something Wash hadn't told his partners, he wasn't sure how they would take it so he stayed silent. That might have been a mistake in hindsight.


Wash was panicking; he was currently hiding in the bathroom from his two lovers North and York. He had not meant for it to happy like it did, hell he didn't want for it to happen at all. But it did and now he was going to have to deal with the consequences they were both going to leave him and want nothing to do with him. That train of thought was just breaking his heart he loved his two partners but there were just something that he could not and would not do.

_Hours Earlier._

Wash arrived home to find North in the kitchen at the stove cooking something for dinner, he wasn't sure what it was but it smelt delicious. Wash made his way over to North who upon noticing Wash turned and opened his arms invitingly to the small blonde, who gladly stepped into them and responded to the strong arms wrapping around him, by wrapping his own arms around North's middle. North leant down and placed a chaste kiss to Wash's forehead; Wash then lifted his head to respond with a kiss to North's lips.

"Welcome home. How was your day love?" North asked Wash as he pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead against Wash's.

"Okay."

"Just okay I suppose when York gets home he and I are just going to have to make your evening amazing." North whispered as he moved away from Wash and going back to finish dinner.

Wash giggle awkwardly with a small forced smile spreading on his face before heading towards the bedroom as faster as he could without it being considered suspicious by the other male.

Making it to the room he found some more casual clothes to change into which consisted of one of York's shirts and a pair of shorts, getting changed before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Wash placed his head in his hands as he tried to figure how to tell his partners that he couldn't. He was so absorbed in his worried thoughts of the two best things that happened to him leaving that he missed the sound of the front door opening and the subsequent opening of the bedroom door. Until he felt a weight join him on the bed.

"Everything okay Wash?" York asked as he wrapped his arms around Wash's shoulders dragging him back so that the two of them were lying on the bed, legs hanging over the edge and Wash on top of York.

"Huh? Yeah sorry just got lost in thought." Wash said putting on his best smile in an attempt to hide his anxiety from York. The other male didn't seem to buy it but let it slide and allowed Wash to get up before following and getting changed himself after Wash had left the room.

The smell coming from the kitchen was divine thought Wash as he went back to join North who was plating up their dinner as he entered the kitchen. North look up at Wash with one of his usual charming smiles that made the butterflies in Wash's stomach go crazy.

"Sit down at the table, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." North said to Wash. "York just getting changed isn't he?"

Wash nodded as he took a seat at their small dining table, they didn't need and awful lot of space the only people they ever had over was South, Carolina and Maine, but never at the same time.

A dinner plate had just been placed in front of Wash with some sort of pasta on it, when suddenly North was all but tackled by York. The struggle that took place between the two men beside Wash made him laugh loudly and for a moment he forgot all his worries about the coming evening.

When Wash calmed down enough to stop laughing he opened his eyes to see that the playful fighting had stopped and North was leaning against York's chest with York's arms around his waist and head resting on his shoulder.

"What's so funny Wash?" York asked removing himself from North and moving to stand in front of the smiling Wash, with his face directly in front of Wash's.

"You two." Wash responded with laughter in his voice and giving York's chest a shove pushing the other back. York went to speak when North interrupted him.

"Come on boys dinner now, fights later."

York grumbled something but went to his seat and sat down and North did the same with his. Dinner was a quiet affair with some light conversation and jokes between the three of them about work and their friends.

The meal finished and the three went and did the dishes York was washing, Wash was drying and North put the dishes away. York always joked that this was one of the main reasons he loved to date both of them, it made chores so much more efficient. That of course led to Wash hitting him with the dish cloth and North grabbing a handful of bubbles from the sink to shove into York's face. Tonight was no exception.

The dishes were eventually done and the three went their own ways for a short while to do odd little jobs or their hobbies. Wash for example would feed his cats, give them a brush and cuddle with them for a bit, North would call his sister and make sure she and Connie were okay and York would watch an episode of whatever he was watching at the time. Usually Wash and North would just end up joining York on the couch and cuddle with him and the cats, granted the cats just squished Wash, or if York fell asleep they would curl on his head.

Tonight this was not the case; Wash was finishing up with his cats when he felt a pair arms slide around him and before he knew what was happening he was being carried as if he was potato sack over York's shoulder. As York walked through the house Wash realised he was being taken to their bedroom, he squirmed in York's hold but York just though he was messing around.

"Relax Wash, I'm going to drop you otherwise and that would be a very bad thing." York said with hint of amusement in his voice.

Wash halted his movement and let York carry him to their room where North was waiting on the bed reading a book.

"Look what I found North." York said loudly.

North looked up from his book and grinned when he saw Wash, who was now trying to kick York.

"You might want to put him down before he injures you." North told York, who was depositing Wash on the bed beside North.

Once Wash was resting on his back on the bed York straddled the blonde and began to litter his face in light kisses, despite his fear and nerves Wash giggled at the ticklish sensation.

North had placed his book down and was moving Wash that his head was resting in North's lap while York continued to kiss him. Wash moaned softly when he felt a hand card through his hair in gentle relaxing motions.

"You're like a cat, aren't you?" North questioned softly as Wash nuzzled the hand in his hair as it stroked his hair, not bothering to answer as his reaction gave a loud clear answer.

York's hands were sliding up the shirt that Wash was wearing and moving them slowly up and down Wash's sides, before moving to remove the shirt.

"Who said you could wear my shirt? Huh mister?" York asked teasingly pressing a kiss to Wash's lips, making a content sound when Wash's lips parted.

"You did, you like me in your clothing." Wash responded as they parted, but got distracted when he saw York lean forwards and begin to kiss North. Who responded to the kiss with a moan and removed a hand from Wash's hair to grab the back of York's neck.

Wash lay still below York trying to catch his breath and calm himself down but when he felt a hand on his thigh, he shoved York hard enough to send him flying off the bed. He pulled himself out of North's hold and made a mad dash for the bathroom, locking the door behind him and leaning against the door. Wash didn't realise he was crying until he felt the warm drops hitting his knees as he curled himself into a tighter ball, pushing his face into his knees.

Why hadn't he just said something earlier? Now both of them were going to hate him, he really did want to lose them. Wash's breaths were becoming irregular and he began to hyperventilate it was a horrible sensation on top of his already fearful mindscape.

There was a light knock at the door which dragged Wash from his thoughts with a jump, he stayed quiet hoping that whichever of his lovers it was would go away.

"Wash love, are you okay?" North asked softly in a way that would imply he was not trying to scare the already shaken man curled up on the bathroom floor.

The only response North got was the quiet sobs that were escaping from Wash's lips against his will.

"I'll be here when you're ready to talk or I can get York if you would prefer him." North continued.

Why was North so calm? Why wasn't he upset with him? It was clear that he and York had been planning this for a while, so why was he so concerned over him running away.

Curiosity was getting to Wash and as much as he hated it he was going to have to face them at some point so might as well get the inevitable break up over with. He opened the door a small way and looked out and saw North sitting on the bed alone watching the door.

"North." Wash called out softly; the older male turned his head and looked at Wash before standing and walking towards the bathroom door slowly as if approaching a small scared animal. Upon reaching the door North pushed the door open with as little force as possible and let Wash move back as he entered the room. North shut the door behind him as Wash collapsed onto the edge of the bath, face down looking at the ground. He really had no idea what to say to North.

"Wash can you tell me what's wrong?" North's voice was soft and soothing and he crouched down on the floor in front of Wash so that he could look at his face.

Wash struggled to find something to tell his lover, he did not know how to confess his dislike for sexual intimacy.

North reached out and took one of Wash's hands in his holding it tight and giving it a reassuring squeeze. It was comforting to Wash but just made him hurt so much more he didn't want to give this up he adored both of the men he was with and to lose that would just break him.

"Did we move too fast?" North asked

"Or are you just uncomfortable with what we were doing?" North continued and at that Wash's head shot up, why would North ask that? Did he know?

North smiled softly at the reaction Wash had to his question and squeezed his hand once again before talking.

"So that's it isn't it? You don't like sex?" While North had phrased it as a question it was more of statement than anything else.

Wash nodded his head slowly before suddenly exclaiming with tears running down his face.

"I'm sorry please don't leave me, I mean I can leave if it's that much of a problem I don't want to upset you two. You deserve better."

The look North gave Wash was one of pure shock, he pulled on Wash's hand until the smaller blonde was tucked under his chin and he could wrap his arms around him.

"Don't say things like that Wash, you really think we'd break up with you over something like this? Your comfort is more important that our pleasure, we love you silly and while you should have told us we need to take some of the blame we thought you were just shy." North explained softly to Wash, feeling the tears wet his neck.

"I'm so sorry Wash."

They stayed like that until Wash had stopped crying and his breathing had become more normal once again. North pulled Wash up with him when he stood but before Wash could take a step he was swung into North's arms bridle style and carried to the bed.

North placed Wash in the middle of the bed and gathered up the blankets to wrap around him tightly and making sure he had a pillow under his head.

"I'm going to go get York, okay love? I'll be back in a few minutes." North whispered placing a kiss to Wash's forehead before heading out the door.

Wash curled up into the blankets and tried to sort out his thoughts, he was so shocked that North had said it didn't matter. That he and York would be fine and that they still loved him. It was honestly not the outcome he had expected. He buried his face in the pillow under his head vaguely aware of the soft voices approaching the room.

Two weights settled on either side of the bed beside Wash, a hand found its way into his hair and Wash looked up the see York sitting beside him.

"Sorry Wash." The man said softly

"I hope you don't mind love, but I explained it too him." North said from the opposite side of the bed as York.

Wash shook his head, he did not mind that North had explained it York instead of him. What he was shocked about though was the two men laying down and getting comfortable on either side of him and wrapping their arms around him.

"Hm, this is just as good." York whispered into Wash's ear softly as he pulled him close against his chest. "This is okay though right?"

Wash looked up in shock before stuttering out a response.

"You're not upset with me? You don't want to break up with me?"

"The only thing we're upset about is that you didn't tell us earlier, and because of that we made you uncomfortable" North said and buried his face into Wash's hair.

Wash reached to York and wrapped his arms around his chest burying face into York's chest, York reached down to lift up Wash's head to place a kiss on his lips. The blush Wash had on his face made York lean back down and give him and Eskimo kiss, behind the two North was chuckling to himself.

"Oh sorry do you feel unloved back there?" York question with laughter in his voice, before putting Wash's head under his chin and leaning across to give North a light kiss holding it until Wash started to squirm between them.

"I need air!" was the muffled reaction from Wash as he squirmed and attempted to get some air back into his lungs. North pushed York back and Wash took a deep breath before smiling for the first time since this whole ordeal had begun.

Wash flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling as his two lovers wrapped themselves around him and settled in for the evening.

"Wash, you know we love you right?" York asked cautiously.

"Yeah." Wash responded.

"Just checking, Love you Wash, Love you North." York said as he gave each on a goodnight kiss which both responded to.

"Goodnight love's." North whispered as he turned off the lamp.

"I love both of you." Wash said as he was held close between the two men he loved more than anything. He could not believe what had happened but for now he didn't have to worry about his preferences and was completely happy that they understood him. Wash really could not have asked for any people better.


End file.
